First I’ll like to say thank you all for reading my extracts. According to Facebook statistics my readership improved 288% in just one week!. Just last week I had nearly new 3000 likes.
Thank you very much – it’s all very humbling.
Most of the readers are male and are from the demographic that matches my book which is great.
I am thinking of rewriting two chapters to show growth in Avi and Una thus changing their emotions. While the attraction remains I was wondering if loathing is more realistic than confusion. If Una can’t accept the mystical changes which Avi has not control over how should he react to her. Especially as the same changes had begun in her?
Currently, Avi is Indian and understands mysticism but Una is British and does not. She is not inclined to happily become a non-human.
At the moment at the end of this chapter Una is drugged and she only remembers snapshots. She believes Avi has joined the Indian Army Institute.
I have removed most dialogue and detail of the human changes but hope you will agree with the progression of Una and Avi’s conflicting emotions.
The extracts follow on from the extract mentioned in the last blog.
[[ ]] are beginning of extracts.
[[ He was changing and he could sense danger for himself, Rosetta and Una too. ]]
[[ “Avi, I can look after myself better than you. I was on the roof when I saw you cornered and heard the gunshots. Grandma had locked the roof door to keep me up there when I decided to parkour my way here. So don’t worry about me” She upturned her palms and said,” Look at the evidence.”
Avi was taken aback by her recklessness. She had stupidly put herself in danger. What if she had got caught in crossfire or hurt herself while jumping? With his cadet training he was able to vault roofs but was shocked and impressed that she could do it too. He didn’t understand why she risked herself. Avi pulled himself up using her palms as leverage and then explored them with his own and felt the little nips and scrapes.
“God you are magnificently crazy and just for my last few human moments you’re mine.
Una wondered what he meant by human moments but chose not to question his thoughts. Instead she allowed him to grab her sides, and pull her body into his. She swayed into him. He brought their bodies tightly together by picking her forearms up and placed them around his neck and then kissed her savagely. Just when she thought it would never stop…
Ping!
A metal object fell at his feet from under the excessive bandaging around his wounded leg. Alarmed, Una examined the blooded bullet between her fingers and then transferred her attention on to Avi’s sombre face. Avi’s heart sunk, whatever they just shared had evaporated into thin air – eternally.
For the first time since Avi had met Una, she looked petrified – petrified of him.
Several seconds elapsed before she spoke, “How did you get up so easily? You are badly wounded.”
Eyes still trained on him Una backed away from him. What sort of witchcraft is this? Rosetta was doing something to his leg when I joined them. Una looked towards the outbuilding for Rosetta, but the door was shut.
Was Rosetta a witch? Was that why his mother was locked up?
Una slow down! Remember it’s me Avi. Look you can cope with this. Remember I can hear what you are thinking and you me. So it stands to reason that if I’m bewitched, then so are you. You heard what they said in the morning. My birthday is in two days…perhaps the change also includes perks like self-healing. You must have noticed some changes in yourself other than being able to ‘Thought Talk’?
Changes? NO, I haven’t Oh God! ]]
[[Una couldn’t stop the trembling. Her brain refused to believe what it was seeing and hearing.
Una’s jumpiness increased and she quickened her backward steps until she stumbled on a crack in the concrete. Avi went over to help her up, ]]
[[Avi stopped on the spot and watched in horror as her hand flayed about for something to protect herself with. She found a discarded rifle. Una nervously looked at Avi, grabbed the rifle and slowly stood up.
“Get away from me or I’ll shoot.”
Una dodged glances between Rosetta and Avi. Her hands were shaking while holding the rifle, Avi walked closer to her, sending her finger onto the trigger.
Swaying the rifle in both their directions she shouted out, “don’t move or I’ll shoot.”]]
[[Avi wanted to hate Una for behaving as she was but he couldn’t. He reasoned she hadn’t gone through any changes besides hearing thoughts which he probably triggered. She’d probably never really lived with uneasiness which was characteristic of the Valley. It was understandable that she was reacting. He wanted her to leave and be safe. From now on he would have to live with the fact that she thought he was some sort of freak and would harm her.
Why can’t he just listen? Una’s arms were shaking. Avi isn’t moving back but is creeping closer instead.
She nervously pulled the trigger. The power of the rifle rebound against her right shoulder. Bullet six was released and went flying past Avi’s ear, lightly nipping it before falling to the ground somewhere behind him.
I’ve just shot him, I just shot Avi! ]]
Ameeta Davis 